Purge

I'm moving this week. And again in two months. And again two months after that. Such circumstances have left me with a near insatiable desire to purge. Trips to Goodwill with car-fulls of kitchen supplies, clothes, and books. Leaving unwanted magazines on the table by the elevator. Chucking textbooks in the dumpster behind my building because both the school bookstore and Goodwill rejected them.

It's not just tangible things I want to purge. Sometimes it's the people and places too. When I first moved to D.C. I was anxious to see the sites and eager to meet everyone. But yesterday was graduation. If I wanted to, I could avoid ever returning to campus. I may never see a lot of people from my class ever again. And part of me felt fine with that. Part of me was consumed by the anticipation of what is next, breathing a sigh of relief that the past three years are finally over.

But last night I walked into my building lobby, passing the chairs where Harry and Tom and Janine and Mickey sit every evening chatting with the residents coming home from work. And my anticipation paused, and I remembered a night when my college freshman self took out a piece of green engineering paper and created a Mathematical Theory of Life.

Part I: Circumstance vs. Time

The sine curve below represents life's ups and downs. My experience informs me that most people have about an equal amount of ups and downs. Some days are good, some are difficult. Some minutes bring ecstasy, followed by shocks of disappointment. Some years pass in a flash and others drag on. But the change never changes. Broken heart, fun family time, a funeral, Christmas caroling to a home-bound friend, falling on your tail bone, getting published, sitting at home on a Friday night, creating a new recipe with your roommates, a rejection letter, a great date.



Part II: Memory vs. Time

For all life's ups and downs, our experience is not futile. In fact, even the difficult experiences produce long-term positive results. The y-values on this parabolic curve represent our memories over time. The derivative (instantaneous slope) is also positive and continuously increasing. This is perspective. The integral (area under the curve) is experience. This graph represents the retrospective, which has the capacity to inform the prospective, easing the load of difficult circumstances. The retrospective is shrugging your shoulders at a past insult or rejection, laughing at being late because you were locked INTO your apartment, and forgiving.



We don't always get to choose our circumstances, but when the circumstance has passed, we choose what we purge and what we keep. It's harder to move when you have a lot of junk, and it's harder to live when you carry a lot of baggage. It all gets easier when you rid yourself of the excess. And getting down to the essentials helps you not miss the little moments of joy--like stopping to chat with the 80-year-olds in the lobby, absorbing the love and support of the family and friends all in the same room at the same time, and introducing your favorite professor to your parents. Here's one for the memories.