Secrets to Self-Confidence #1

Maybe this will become a series of posts. As a precaution, I have numbered this post.

I was sitting on a plane thinking about confidence and self-esteem, and I realized that I'm usually most confident when I'm not thinking about myself. Isn't that interesting? That one of the keys to self-confidence is to think about anything but your SELF?

So, if you aren't going to think about yourself, what do you think about? Naturally, you can think about other people. But self-confidence requires that you think about other people in a certain way. You definitely cannot compare yourself to other people because if you are comparing, then you are still thinking about YOU.

You could think about ways to help other people, but you have to be careful here because taking this too far could again lead back to thinking about how YOU have so much to offer. And self-confidence is more about actually offering what you can to other people rather than thinking about how great it is that you have something to offer.

You could think about learning, growing, ideas, goals, and things of that nature. I think these are the thoughts that lead us to the greatest self-confidence. They also can lead us to serving others--acting rather than just thinking about others and having futile pity.

Elder Douglas Callister summed it up pretty well in an address he gave at BYU in 2006: "There are those who always speak of themselves, and they are either insecure or proud. There are those who always speak of others. They are usually very boring. There are those who speak of stirring ideas, compelling books, and inspiring doctrine. These are the few who make their mark in this world. The subjects discussed in heaven are not trifling or mundane. They are sublime beyond our most extended imagination. We will feel at home there if we are rehearsed on this earth in conversing about the refined and noble, clothing our expressions in well-measured words."

So there you have it, secret #1: Stop thinking about yourself and go do something useful. (Okay, maybe that's two secrets. Look for a later post on doing something useful.)